The paradox of lovin' someone so deep, yet realizing they don't deserve it and missing the version of you that was capable of loving someone like that ?

Never have i ever felt more human than that I do rn. The deeper most craving to fix something but the burden of reality weighing upon myself knowing it's beyond repair, It's beyond any fixing and I have to really let go, makes me feel Helpless which I think should just be peak human emotion. To hope is for me was to feel like a god. And now I've to embrace the human side of me.