myrmepropagandist in Elk: "@CStamp @Jimijamflimflam You wake..."

You must pick one very minor talent:

1,453 votes ·

For all the people who voted to understand what their cat’s noise. What if they tell you secrets no human should know? Unspeakable secrets?

You wake up, but ... it's not yet dawn, the room is dark. You slowly open your eyes and look up trying to understand why you are awake. The room is dark, but as your eyes focus you realize you are not alone.

Small dark forms ring your field of vision, each with two pointed ears. A car passes outside and the light reflects off of their eyes, so many cats, all looking down at you as you come to consciousness.

"rarrraowo"

Says your own cat.

You know what this means.

March 13, 2026 at 11:55:30 PM

Ya know what, after further consideration I’m going to amend this to
“Attend me!”

Feed me!

I don’t know about cats but I personally know all the crows around here, and they know me. I understand them too. They say “I am a crow”. That’s all they say, but they say it with meaning. What we hear is “craa craa craa” or “craa craa craa craa” which means “crow crow crow” or “crow crow crow crow” respectively, both of which when translated mean “I am a crow”.

“I went outside during the night and brought you a little something for the morning. It’s at the end of the bed. Don’t worry—it’s fresh.”

I once gained the ability to understand my dog (don’t ask me how)

he was like “oh! you can understand me? this is amazing! look, wanna see something so cool? follow me!” I follow him to the laundry basket in the bedroom. “see these little slots on the side here? this is a perfect hiding place for my BITS OF RAW MEAT. Isn’t this SO COOL?”

incidentally, my dog likes to “cook” his meat before eating it.

that is, he does not like human style cooking, he wants to find cool dry places to dehydrate and slightly rot the meat to give it a bit of a stronger flavor before eating it

he has very sophisticated tastes that we are just too plebian to understand

isn't that what humans do when they "age" meat?